[The look of surprise Fenris gives Rafe is half from the fact that what Rafe is saying means that, had Fenris not been drunk, he wouldn't have pulled back from the kiss. Even though he's covered in scales like an overgrown lizard, even though his tongue is literally split down the middle — even more so than it had been at the party, admittedly, even though he has horns sticking out of his head...the one thing that stopped him was that Fenris was drunk. That Rafe was considering his well being, which is not something the elf is used to at all. That's the other half of the surprise.
Back in Tevinter, it didn't matter what he thought or felt.
Even when he expressed doubts to Hawke about some of the choices he made, Hawke heard his peace but did he listen? He certainly heard him when he first said the last place he wanted to enter was the young mage's nightmare, and yet Hawke chose him as one of the lucky few to go anyway. But that's normal. Who is Fenris, exactly? Danarius is a powerful and respected magister, Hawke is the Champion of Kirkwall — he knows considerably less about Rafe, he realizes, but there's something about him and what he does know that makes Fenris realize he's yet again lucky to be considered a partner to such a man.
And this man just told him — has been telling him — that what he thinks matters.
Fenris pushes himself to his feet, clawed hand holding onto a wooden beam as he's still getting used to moving around on his talon-feet. He takes a step towards Rafe but stops, his markings emitting a subtle glow in the darkness of the attic, leaving the room only illuminated by him and a couple of strategically placed lamps (he doesn't like it too bright in here).
His voice is quiet, thoughtful, but there's something barely restrained about the way he speaks.]
I only regret that I didn't do anything when I first had the chance.
cw: implications of sexual abuse, past alcohol/drug use, body dysmorphia
Back in Tevinter, it didn't matter what he thought or felt.
Even when he expressed doubts to Hawke about some of the choices he made, Hawke heard his peace but did he listen? He certainly heard him when he first said the last place he wanted to enter was the young mage's nightmare, and yet Hawke chose him as one of the lucky few to go anyway. But that's normal. Who is Fenris, exactly? Danarius is a powerful and respected magister, Hawke is the Champion of Kirkwall — he knows considerably less about Rafe, he realizes, but there's something about him and what he does know that makes Fenris realize he's yet again lucky to be considered a partner to such a man.
And this man just told him — has been telling him — that what he thinks matters.
Fenris pushes himself to his feet, clawed hand holding onto a wooden beam as he's still getting used to moving around on his talon-feet. He takes a step towards Rafe but stops, his markings emitting a subtle glow in the darkness of the attic, leaving the room only illuminated by him and a couple of strategically placed lamps (he doesn't like it too bright in here).
His voice is quiet, thoughtful, but there's something barely restrained about the way he speaks.]
I only regret that I didn't do anything when I first had the chance.