( anders can't help but think this is the most productive conversation the two of them have ever had. it's unlikely that this is due to a lack of hawke — very, seriously unlikely. it's simply a coincidence that it's taken being transported to another dimension in order to get two words out to one another. even then, they haven't touched on anything controversial. no discussion of mage rights, or the state of the imperium, or the way that fenris is not, in fact a, a slave.
such topics will send the spiraling back to square one, surely. )
No, that's not...
Hawke and I never— we were never anything, truthfully. Never did anything, either.
( though his dreams love weave a narrative where things go differently. )
[ This is definitely the most productive conversation they've ever had, and if the thought didn't threaten to further spiral his mind into madness, he would consider that this isn't real either. But he doesn't wish to go there yet.
His brows knit together in confusion. Yet another discrepancy that has to do with Hawke specifically. ]
So...it truly is our memories of Hawke. Because I very clearly remember the way he would look at you.
( don't fill his head with nonsense, elf. Hawke harbored no feelings towards him, no interest in his affections, no care for his love and devotion. all he wanted was the broken man from tevinter.
it's anders who remembers how Hawke softened when gazing at fenris, how gently He smiled, how every stress melted away in fenris' company. there was no need for anders. did He only want anders for his connection to the rebellion? did He hate anders all this time—
anders curls in on himself before he explodes: )
NO!
( and they were doing so well.
the arrival of justice is fleeting, because there is no injustice here. he leaves as quickly as he came. )
No— No, you... misremember. As I do.
( he won't allow himself to believe in a world such as the one fenris describes, get caught up in yet another fantasy to plague his nights. )
This is... weighty. Perhaps it's best if you leave.
Fenris shoots up again, just to put some distance between the two of them when that thing comes out. Fortunately, it goes away just as quick, but Fenris remains defensive.
This is weighty, and Fenris is more than okay ending the conversation here. He has to go...think about things. About everything. About how his life may not even be real, and the pain that weighed him down might have come from lies. ]
For once, I agree.
[ He reaches for his sword, carefully, before slinging it over his shoulder by the strap and wasting no time heading for the door. Once open, though, he hesitates.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
winterfish
no subject
Date: 2023-01-22 11:18 pm (UTC)such topics will send the spiraling back to square one, surely. )
No, that's not...
Hawke and I never— we were never anything, truthfully. Never did anything, either.
( though his dreams love weave a narrative where things go differently. )
He was far less enamored with me than I with him.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-22 11:52 pm (UTC)His brows knit together in confusion. Yet another discrepancy that has to do with Hawke specifically. ]
So...it truly is our memories of Hawke. Because I very clearly remember the way he would look at you.
[ Sickening. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-01-23 01:12 am (UTC)it's anders who remembers how Hawke softened when gazing at fenris, how gently He smiled, how every stress melted away in fenris' company. there was no need for anders. did He only want anders for his connection to the rebellion? did He hate anders all this time—
anders curls in on himself before he explodes: )
NO!
( and they were doing so well.
the arrival of justice is fleeting, because there is no injustice here. he leaves as quickly as he came. )
No— No, you... misremember. As I do.
( he won't allow himself to believe in a world such as the one fenris describes, get caught up in yet another fantasy to plague his nights. )
This is... weighty. Perhaps it's best if you leave.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-23 01:39 am (UTC)Fenris shoots up again, just to put some distance between the two of them when that thing comes out. Fortunately, it goes away just as quick, but Fenris remains defensive.
This is weighty, and Fenris is more than okay ending the conversation here. He has to go...think about things. About everything. About how his life may not even be real, and the pain that weighed him down might have come from lies. ]
For once, I agree.
[ He reaches for his sword, carefully, before slinging it over his shoulder by the strap and wasting no time heading for the door. Once open, though, he hesitates.
But it only lasts a second before he leaves. ]